Friday, May 29, 2009

Interview w/ VMFM Worker (2002)

FROM THE ARCHIVES, May 29 - This originally posted on vermiform.com, 2/11/02

INTERVIEW WITH VERMIFORM EMPLOYEE

Vermiform employee Anthony Berryman ("Bilious Bad Janitah", according to the Wu-Namer), singer of The Jews and longtime band member of Herr K, Aye Aye Cap'n and Umlaut, was interviewed by Sam M. in early February. Photo by Ben Wolfinsohn.

S - You're from Fresno, right?
A - Yeah.
S - What's Fresno like?
A - Fresno is, is like.. a great American wasteland, but also a wonderful place. [Yet it is] very violent.
S - In what ways do you think you can make a contribution to our company?
A - Well, I think... like anyone with a ... with a really great work ethic like myself... I'll start at the bottom, you know? and.... I can contribute as much.... opportunity as you're willing to throw my way....
S - What sort of salary are you expecting?
A - Well, I need at least... lunch...
S - Will you relocate? Does relocation bother you?
A - No, I, uh...
S - What sort of position are you interested in?
A - Um, y'know, whatever...

What a difference a year makes???

S - What's going on next with The Jews?
A - We are going to record the greatest...
S - What are your career goals?
A - I wanna be, um, I want to, want to... you know....
S - Why should I hire you?
A - You...
S - Why exactly do you feel that you deserve a raise?
A - I'm not even asking for a...
S - What do you feel are your greatest strengths?
A - I.....
S - Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?
A - [barely audible] Still... the janitor?
S - Note to self; 'makes face'... What are your long range and short range goals and objectives?
A - I want to....
S - Why did you leave your last job?
A - I couldn't handle teaching children?
S - What do you expect to be earning in five years?
A - (laughs [nervously]) More than I am now.
S - Are you over 18 years old?
A - Yes.
S - AH HA! That was a trick question! It's against federal law for me ask that one!
A - Oh, no....